You know when you have so many thoughts you can't figure out where to start?! Or is it just me?!
Hammy always barfs. Always. When he's mad at me he barfs on my pillow. No I'm serious. I don't know at what point I got to bed and was like "dang it hammy" vs. my initial freak out reaction of WTFfffffffff HAMMY!!!!! So here I am wondering what he just threw up on the floor. And then a day of not eating and it dawns on me we fed him salmon and salmon eggs. So I look it up and think that he has flukes. Vet. No flukes. Weird bloodwork. Fluids. I decline X-ray and we are home on meds. Still won't eat. Go back for X-rays find rocks. Think it's a blockage. Go in for surgery. Rocks are small and would've passed except for the swollen lymph nodes. And the lymphoma.
Here's where it happens. The whirlwind of memories of a dog. And of my buddy. Of him running off and chasing raccoons and foxes out of the yard. Getting mauled by a cougar. Enduring camping trips with weird dogs and weirder people. Every single road trip he has been a fixture, sighing when we has to wake up to go out and pee in the snow. Whenever I go out of town for a dinner or shoot he comes along. He's a jerk. He makes awful noises at other dogs, he chases Meadow. He drives me insane and in the same moment I love him for his strong personality. It took me the first two years of his life to even like him and now I cannot fathom the world without him.
He comes out of the surgery and all but stops eating. I'm about to say goodbye but Monday he started eating. And still is.
You know the moments you pray for just a little bit more time. Maybe a miracle. Anything to give you a few more memories, a few more moments with someone you love. Well it looks like those have been answered. I am so thankful for today and hopeful I will have tomorrow with you buddy. Life is so damn short. The moments we know are limited are truly a blessing in my eyes.
Send him sunshine and prayers. He might be an a-hole but oh my God I love this dog.
